“Six seasons.”A young Scotsman leaves home and moves to New York. After six months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. “H...rrible,” he says. “They’re always yelling and screaming. I hate how they constantly pound on the walls and stomp the floors.”“How do you get by?” she asks.“I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes,” says the Scot.A man is on trial for cannibalism. He proclaims to the judge, “Well, your honor, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man.”I. ” She could hear him laughing as he went down the hall.After Steve left, Darla shut the door and carried her bag over to her bed. She laid it on the bed and then it struck her it was made. She couldn’t remember making it two weeks ago when she moved in.Shelly seeing her look of perplexion said, “I made it for you earlier today. I saw the blankets and sheets in the closest. I hope you don’t mind I picked the pink ones. I love pink.”“No, thank you for doing that and I’m sorry for walking in on. "Let the women figure it out." Was his motto.Sleep deprived, I made mistakes at work. Melissa called me on most of them. "Get your act together, Ruby. You're making me look bad." She was the office assistant I had been hired to support. Which mean I did all the work. She taste-tested coffee all day.The following Sunday night I went out for a beer with Donald. I drank more than usual, and ended up letting him fuck me, until his back wore out. He jacked off the rest of the way. I had fallen. Kitik does not like that I say this. But he admits that it is so.“Always as mother,” he complains. “All things we must take from the humans, even to where we may go and when we may go there.”“In the time I am here I learn much of the humans,” I say. “A thing I learn is that for humans the now is very different from us. They cannot be content only to live in the now, they must twist now to their own way. They do this many ways, with money and with countries and other things too. These things are.
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